April 1, 2013

A Kiss and a Slap







A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, “why is your head so small?”

The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously fielded this question many times. “One day,” he begins, “I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.”

“No shit?” says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.

“Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.’”
“Keep going!” the bartender urged.

“I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss…POOF!!!! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, “You now have three wishes.”

The story is told of four people who shared a berth in a train going from Paris to Madrid: a beautiful young woman traveling with her grandmother, and a handsome young army lieutenant who was with his commanding officer.

On the way the train passed through a tunnel, and the train became pitch black.

Suddenly, in the darkness there was a sound of a kiss followed by a slap.  When the train emerged from the tunnel, the four sat stone faced as if nothing had happened.

The beautiful young woman thought to herself, “That was a wonderful kiss, but my grandmother must have slapped his face and he probably thinks I did it and he won’t pay attention to me again.”

The grandmother thinks, “That’s a fresh thing for that man to kiss my granddaughter.  I’m sure glad she stood up for herself, I’m sure it will teach him a lesson.”

The commanding officer thought, “This is terrible, she must have thought that I was the one who kissed her, wait until I get back to the base, I’m really going to give my lieutenant a piece of my mind.”

And the handsome young lieutenant thought, “This was my day. I got to kiss a beautiful woman and slap my boss and get away with both.”

2 comments:

  1. The end of the Muscular guy joke is cut off... really ruins the joke.

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    1. Obviously his final wish was something like, "Well, I wouldn't mind a little head..." BOOM BOOM!

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