Too Much Crap Not Enough Shovels: 28 Signs You’re A Pro Wrestling Fan (28 pics)

1. When someone says “WWF,” you jump to correct them.

And you’re sad that you even have to.

2. You’ve grown tired of explaining to people how it’s NOT FAKE. (It’s predetermined.)

And even more tired of their ass-backwards explanation of how things ‘really work.’ “You see, that table is made of reconstructed styrofoam, and they play the sound of wood breaking over the PA system at just the right time. Also, that concrete floor is actually just a trampoline made to look like concrete. And he’s wearing a body brace. And I’m an idiot.”

Via: imgur.com

3. You have a love/hate relationship with WWE. You hate what it’s become, but would give anything for it to be what it once was.

Via: review2akill.com

Ahhhhhhh nostalgia…

Via: fanpop.com

4. You’ve become desensitized to seeing men of all shapes and sizes in ill-fitting spandex.

Not to mention the shaved armpits.

Via: bleacherreport.com

5. You’ll always think of The Rock as a wrestler first, who occasionally makes a movie or two on the side.

Like that little gap between 2004 and 2012. I think that was three movies, actually.

Via: wwfandstuff.20m.com

6. You have CDs of wrestler entrance themes that you’d prefer no one knew about.

(But Jim Johnston is still the man.)

Via: wikimedia.org

7. You had early geography lessons via wrestler bios.

8. You’ve read one or two or six of these.

9. You’re ready to chant “E-C-W!” at a moment’s notice.

Via: datgif.com

10. When feeling cynical, you consider finally doing a full heel turn.

Via: Tumblr.com

11. You look at folding chairs differently than most people.

Via: bleacherreport.com

And trash cans.

Via: skyrock.net

And light bulbs.

Via: bleacherreport.com

12. You’ve tried four beers at once, Stone Cold style.

Via: Tumblr.com

13. And ripping apart your shirt, Hulk Hogan style.

Via: t-nation.com

14. And taking off your towel Val Venis style.

Maybe that was just me.

Via: ytimg.com

15. If put in an amateur strip contest, you’d just do a bad Shawn Michaels imitation.

Admit it.

Via: wrestling-match.com

16. Every time you have something important to say, you’d feel more comfortable holding a microphone.

17. You have one or two of these that are still pretty special.

And musty.

Via: Various wrestling merchandise sites

18. You’ve seen more TV weddings than most soap opera fans.

‘Scuse me while I get my hankie.

19. Every time you shave, you think “yeah, I could do a blade job. No problem.”

Then you get nicked.

Via: imgur.com

20. You have a potentially-dangerous urge to jump off ladders.

Isn’t that what they’re for?

Via: Tumblr.com

21. You’re inadvertently trained the secret code language of the business.

In other words, you know that the reason the heel potato’d the face during the finish last night was because the face was green and sandbagging, no-selling like a jabroni; now he knows that if he tries to get out of doing the job and dropping the strap, he’ll get busted open the hard way.

Via: Tumblr.com

22. You’re also fluent in Steiner-ese.

Heh.

23. Any debate over who the strongest man in the world is has to include Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg or Mark Henry.

Via: gifsoup.com

Via: ytimg.com

Otherwise it is invalid.

Via: bleacherreport.com

24. You consider yourself a Monday Night Wars buff.

Via: kayfabenews.com

25. You know more about the Montreal Screwjob than the Kennedy Assassination.

Everyone knows Kennedy screwed Kennedy.

Via: imageshack.us

26. You think everything is a work. EVERYTHING.

Seriously, when is Kaufman going to show up and finish the angle already?

Via: photobucket.com

27. You remember where you were when you heard about Owen, and Eddie, and countless others.

RIP.

28. Maybe you still watch. Maybe you don’t. But a big part of your childhood remains in front of that TV screen, respecting the hell out of the men and women who put their bodies on the line.

Maybe you still watch. Maybe you don’t. But a big part of your childhood remains in front of that TV screen, respecting the hell out of the men and women who put their bodies on the line.

Making you think superheroes exist…

Via: popscreen.com

That you can get even with your boss…

Via: droptoehold.com

That boyhood dreams really do come true…

Via: bleacherreport.com

And that this guy was once really, really cool.

7 comments:

AnonymousAugust 1, 2013 at 9:22 PM
After carefully going over everything here. I have decided that i am a wrestling fan.
AnonymousAugust 1, 2013 at 9:31 PM
OH yes, I am a fan.... I especially enjoyed Degeneration-X.(Shawn Michaels and Triple H)..and yes, I do see folding chairs in a different light.
amyAugust 1, 2013 at 9:55 PM
ive loved this since i was really little watching wrestling on a 5 inch tv/am-fm radio on saturday nights and now me and my boys watch (more him than me i work alot of mondays) hopefully we can pass it to grandkids too
AnonymousAugust 1, 2013 at 9:59 PM
I don't watch the current stuff But I do miss , Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan , The Undertaker, Jake the Snake, and the Road Warriors (even the Bushwackers and Macho Man and Hondre the Giant. ) Those were the days! knew it was fake , and kinda like a soap Opera, but it was MY soap opera!
AnonymousAugust 1, 2013 at 10:11 PM
Not fake. What an incredible business. Married a wrestler. Nothing can piss me off or draw me in like the WWE.
AnonymousAugust 2, 2013 at 5:57 AM
Is there a cure? Now that we know the symptoms
AnonymousAugust 2, 2013 at 12:24 PM
There is no cure.
There is only pain (when you try some of the stuff you have seen, even if you know that it is no good for you).

August 1, 2013

28 Signs You’re A Pro Wrestling Fan (28 pics)

1. When someone says “WWF,” you jump to correct them.

2. You’ve grown tired of explaining to people how it’s NOT FAKE. (It’s predetermined.)

3. You have a love/hate relationship with WWE. You hate what it’s become, but would give anything for it to be what it once was.

4. You’ve become desensitized to seeing men of all shapes and sizes in ill-fitting spandex.

5. You’ll always think of The Rock as a wrestler first, who occasionally makes a movie or two on the side.

6. You have CDs of wrestler entrance themes that you’d prefer no one knew about.

7. You had early geography lessons via wrestler bios.

8. You’ve read one or two or six of these.

9. You’re ready to chant “E-C-W!” at a moment’s notice.

10. When feeling cynical, you consider finally doing a full heel turn.

11. You look at folding chairs differently than most people.

12. You’ve tried four beers at once, Stone Cold style.

13. And ripping apart your shirt, Hulk Hogan style.

14. And taking off your towel Val Venis style.

15. If put in an amateur strip contest, you’d just do a bad Shawn Michaels imitation.

16. Every time you have something important to say, you’d feel more comfortable holding a microphone.

17. You have one or two of these that are still pretty special.

18. You’ve seen more TV weddings than most soap opera fans.

19. Every time you shave, you think “yeah, I could do a blade job. No problem.”

20. You have a potentially-dangerous urge to jump off ladders.

21. You’re inadvertently trained the secret code language of the business.

22. You’re also fluent in Steiner-ese.

23. Any debate over who the strongest man in the world is has to include Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg or Mark Henry.

24. You consider yourself a Monday Night Wars buff.

25. You know more about the Montreal Screwjob than the Kennedy Assassination.

26. You think everything is a work. EVERYTHING.

27. You remember where you were when you heard about Owen, and Eddie, and countless others.

28. Maybe you still watch. Maybe you don’t. But a big part of your childhood remains in front of that TV screen, respecting the hell out of the men and women who put their bodies on the line.

7 comments: