June 3, 2013

The Funniest Little White Lies Parents Have Told to Their Children (16 pics)

















77 comments:

  1. Ahahahaaa ahahaa hahahaha! I told mine the one about the ice cream van!

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  2. My mom told me if you saw a lot of dead raccoons and skunks on the side of the road that it was going to be a hard winter. She said they were committing suicide. I believed that for a very long time. I felt pretty dumb when I found out it was a lie.

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    1. I am sitting here laughing so hard I am crying! :)

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    2. Your mom told you about suicide and animals committing it? Finally a legit reason why CPS exists.

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    3. Oh shut the hell up! moron

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    4. I said they were migratory, changing the side of the road they lived on, to reduce overpopulation. Only the ones who looked both ways survived.

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    5. i second that!! shut iiiiitttttt

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    6. Sad that some people are so bitter about something that they feel inclined to tell a happy person to shut up.

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  3. Son was always frustrated if he couldn't learn something first try; would say he'd never learn it, even call himself stupid. when it came to tying his shoes I told him "studies show kids on average have to practice tying their shoes 70 times before they get it right". He was so excited when he learned it in 7. I might admit to this someday. maybe.

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    1. That is fantastic! Never tell - if your son is anything like mine, you're going to need that trick again. I'm definitely going to borrow your idea!

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    2. Nice idea :)

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    3. }}} Never tell - if your son is anything like mine, you're going to need that trick again. I'm definitely going to borrow your idea!

      I hate to tell you this, but if he hits 18 and hasn't figured it out, he really IS stupid... LOLZ.

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  4. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVE the one about farting bubbles!! I told my son that if he didnt eat all his tomatoes, the tomatoe monster would come and eat him! He'll only leave you alone if you eat ALL your tomatoes...to this day (he's almost 5 now) he eats ALL his tomatoes.

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  5. I told my kids that Nutella is spicy. Sorry but it's too expensive to share with little kids who will not appreciate it.

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  6. I taught Michael Jackson how to Moonwalk......that lasted a few years,, until they saw me dance.

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  7. I told my son that the ice cream truck was a music truck and we never really liked the music they would play so we never got music from the ice cream truck. He's still mad about that one.

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    1. We dont live in the greatest neighborhoods.... so I told my kids the Ice Cream Truck was a cover for drug dealers...... which may or maynot be true.

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    2. It was true in my neighborhood. But they sold weed and icecream... I don't know about the rest. It was all pre packaged so I was like whatever

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    3. In my neighborhood that actually IS true about the Ice Cream Truck.

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  8. I was told about the watermelon seeds... If my mom would have told me that swallowing gum would make me fart bubbles I would have swallowed it on purpose just to see. Probably the reason that she didn't tell me that... lol...

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  9. I told my then five-year-old daughter that a human males' penis was shaped just like a male cats' penis; that it has backward facing barbs that won't let him come disconnected from her until he is done. She believed me 'till she was about 13. Ahhh the hazards of pre-schoolers and the Discovery Channel :)

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    1. Why the HELL would you be talking about penises and sex with a FIVE YEAR OLD? Totally inappropriate!!!!

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    2. Wtf?????? Idiot!!!

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    3. WTF? Why would you talk to a 5 yr old about sex,the crap about the barbs? And then add a smiley face? That is sick! My 5 yr old son knows girls don't have a penis but he doesn't know what they have exactly nor does he need to know at that age! You have some judgement issues on what is appropriate.

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    4. At five, due to a teacher's pregnancy, my twin girls were asking all sorts of questions. I raised them with the motto, "if you are old enough to ask, you are old enough for a truthful answer (appropriately aged)." So we had our first discussions about mommy and daddy kissing, baby in mommy's womb. Notice the word appropriate above? Every parent, every person is raised with a different set of what is appropriate and not appropriate. Their smile was because of the things and situations SHOWN on the disney channel, I took it as an 'ironic' smile. Have you watched some of those 'teen' shows? Read the blurbs about the 'stars' of those shows? Watched YouTube by chance? The bit about the barbs was most likely a parent freaking out and hoping that their baby girl NEVER has sex with anyone, although we all know that is unrealistic, It is something that as a parent you don't want to think about, EVER. We all make mistakes raising our kids, say things we most likely shouldn't. Watch how you judge others unless you know everything. And ignore the rest. After all I was raised that only idiots and stupid people call others idiots and stupid, luckily I know that isn't 100% true.

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    5. Ya, its only about 75% true.

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    6. My motto was the exact opposite: If you have to ask, you're too young to know.

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    7. well that sounds like a motto of a lazy ass parent! When exactly do you take it upon yourself to inform your children w/ legit, sound, responsible information about the world? smdh

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    8. Odds are her kid saw something on the Discovery Channel about cat penises and probably ended up asking about boys. Maybe her kid has a younger brother or a cousin or her best friend was a boy. Kids are naturally curious and they ask questions. Way better if you give them at least a half truth instead of saying "I'll tell you about it when you're older"

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  10. My sister was told by another kid that if she ate strawberries a plant would grow in her stomach because they have seeds on the outside... she refused to eat them for almost 2 years.

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  11. My daughter used to have bad dreams sometimes so I bought a can of airfreshener and sprayed her room every night with "Dream Spray" to keep the bad dreams away!! lol It worked till she finally just stopped having bad dreams.... My girl was kinda smart too though... it had to be the same scent or it didn't work!!

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    1. My mom did that with water... I would cry if she didn't spray my room every night and would correct her if she missed a spot.

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    2. this one is adorable....huge fan of this concept... we got spanked if we had nightmares too often

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    3. ^^^ I'm really sorry to hear that. As if anyone can control their subconscious and what it dreams about.

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  12. Mine was from my brother, when I was four he got tired of tying my shoes so he told me that if I couldn't tie my shoes they wouldn't let me into kindergarten because I was too dumb. I had it figured out within a month.

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  13. When I was little and losing my teeth, my grandpa told me that when my eye teeth fell out so would my eyes and then popped out his dentures to show me that those were teeth he still had. When the first one fell out I sat crying in the bathroom for 30 minutes before my mom could get me to tell her why. She had a very loud conversation with my grandfather on the phone that evening.

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  14. My mom told me the one about the dragonfly and if you talked when they were near they would sew your mouth shut!! Still screwed up and can't speak when they fly near! Just mean. LOL

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  15. My dad told my kids that shepherd's pie was made from German Shepherds my daughter is now 22 with her own child and still won't eat it unless we call it hamburger pie. He also told a group of 5 and 6 year olds that the bunny my brother accidentally shot with his pellet gun was the Easter Bunny,ended up with a whole group of bawling kids holding a funeral.

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    1. Your dad is delightedly sick and twisted! HAHAHAHAHA

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  16. I never told my kids they could ask for Christmas presents or make a list. I knew they would find out at preschool. That way I could get them educational toys they would really play with instead of a stupid toy they saw on TV. They were 4 and 5 when they found out, but they still didn't know about lists. So they each only asked for one thing.

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  17. I have still to this day never eaten Mincemeat pie because when I was small my older brother told me it was Mice Meat. :( I just cannot bring myself to eat it.

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  18. I was changing a little boys diaper in front of my daughter, she saw his little ding-a-ling, so I told her that one would grow on her if she kept going potty in her pants

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    1. That's awful! You'll make her afraid of sex organs!

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    2. You missed the chance to just say......'boys and girls are different that way'. Easy as that. Shows how immature you are calling it a ding-a-ling and telling such a crude lie to your poor child!

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    3. Oh for goodness sake = the kid can only have been little. I answer my children's questions about bodies and sex honestly - but with age appropriate answers but I don't think there's anything wrong with the white lie the person above told her kid. It's not the sign of a bad parent or something that's going to traumatise a child for life. Get a grip!

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  19. The one about peeing in the pool isn't necessarily totally false anymore. There is a chemical available that can be added to the water, but I believe it turns blue (not red).

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    1. It's a myth and it always was.

      Incidentally, this entire thing was on Buzz Feed last month. One big difference was that Buzz Feed properly credited Reddit as the source. http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-funniest-lies-you-can-tell-a-child

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  20. we had jehovah's witness`s living near by 1 of their kids told my daughter she will not be saved if she dies to gods kingdom......my daughter cried for months.... i was fuming.....

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  21. man, my parents never told me anything like this, I just heard about them from friends basically.
    either my parents had no evil or funny bones... or they didn't see a point in lies to get their way...

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  22. Ever since i was very small, i was told hiccups are caused by a lack of sex

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  23. I have a few ones my mom told me:

    Babies are made by kissing. I freaked out bad when a kid kissed me in Pre-K.

    If you swallow gum, it will get tangled/stuck in your insides.

    If you eat meat on Holy Week, it turns into blood in your mouth.

    If you eat a lot of carrots, it changes your eye color.

    She also told me the one about watermelon seeds.

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    1. If you do eat a lot of carrots it will make you look jaundiced, which makes your eyes yellow. When my daughter was a baby she loved carrots and we let her eat all she wanted. When we took her to the doctor because we thought she was jaundiced, we learned this.

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  24. My mother told us that if you played with your belly button it would come untied and all of your inside would fall out.

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  25. Some little girl told my little sister that hot dogs were dogs little private parts lol I was like wth... they were 5 years old lol

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  26. I got away with calling alcohol Sour Soda for TEN YEARS until the darn school had to teach the kids about drugs and alcohol. Now every time I have even a glass of wine (hardly ever) my daughter tells me how awful it is for me. I asked her if she thought the teacher was smarter than me and she said yes. I asked if she would believe what the teacher said and she said yes. So I told her to ask her teacher if it was okay if her mom had a glass of wine sometimes. She came home so mad because the teacher said grownups can have wine sometimes and it's okay. lol. The end of sour soda is the end of an era, though. :-) I got it from a friend of mine years ago, so I know I'm not alone. ;-)

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  27. My mom told me if I have sex with one boy then I will have sex with every boy I ever meet, develop an addiction, become a prostitute and no one will ever love me. That was the only sex talk we ever had.

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    1. My sex talk was "if you get pregnant I'll kill you." Yours at least had a good moral!

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  28. The watermelon seeds one was one I got told a lot of..

    Another was that if I stuck my fingers out of the windows while we traveled Flying foxes would come and eat them off. I actually had suffered a shattered hand and knew what I would look like without fingers subconsciously. So I believed her.

    My mom to this day tells my brother's son that when we are in the car out together with him.

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  29. Wow- I am really glad my parents just told me the truth and I do the same with my three kids. I heard the watermelon/apple seed thing from friends. Some of these are just creepy and wrong! I can't believe parents would think they were remotely okay!!!

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  30. LOL When my brother was young(6-7yrs old) My dad would tell him that if he ate curled potato chips, he would grow breasts hahaha My mom and I were allowed cause we are females, and my dad said he's an adult so it doesn't affect him....My brother wouldn't eat potato chips for years lol

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  31. I was the only child for about six years and I always asked my parents why I didn't have a brother or sister. So they told me they were working on it.

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  32. We told our daughter that the cows on the side of the hills were specially bred with two different size legs. They could only walk one way, going in a circle around the hill to graze. When a cow is born, the legs are checked to see where they can be pastured. It kept her occupied on a long road trip but it surprised me how long she believed that.

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    1. my dad told my mom that 2! And she believed it for a really long time lolol

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  33. I told my sons that of they were lying, their tongue would turn blue. When in doubt of what they were telling me I asked them to open their mouth, and if they refused, I knew they were fibbing. lol!

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    1. I'm so going to use this with my kids one day!

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    2. Okay out of all of them I have to say I LOVE this one!

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  34. I tell me daughter the one about the ice-cream van. I was also told and tell me daughter that if she is lying your tongue turns black. I was also brought up to believe that there was a man that lived on the moon and how much of it we saw depended on how hungry he was that night and hadn't eaten lol.

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  35. Why do people have to lie to their children? I've never lied to mine. Lying destroys lives.

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  36. Wow, what happened to posiitive reinforcement, or motivation to do things the right way. I am not perfect but at least I don't tell my boys lies. I just addapt the explanation to their age. Their penias ia a private part of our body that stays private. If you pee in the pool, we'll leave. If you don't eat your veggies you get sick and you won't be able to play, veggies make you stronger to play more hours. tv is not good for your brain. If you continue that behavior I will spank you. Treat people the way you want them to treat you. If you don't like a certain kind of food, that meanas that you habe at leaat tried it first. Lies call for more lies and liea become huge and get out of control until you can't fix it. Etc etc

    But I think we all have different styles, just lying is not mine.

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    1. I got told a few of these little white lies as a kid and it never hurt me to be honest - I find it fun now to sit back and chat with others about all the different little white lies we got told.

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  37. When I was little my mom told me babies came from Sears. After my sister was born I spent the better part of a year asking my parents to take her back so I could get a Barbie instead lol.

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  38. My mom told me that tapioca pudding was fish eggs. i believed her and was afraid to try it for many many years. i also thought that they would become fish in my stomach.

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  39. My kids were scared of thunder and lightning so I told them that it was just the angel babies up in heaven turning the lights on and off and jumping on their beds,, they are old enough now to use the same story on their own kids...

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  40. I was told some of that crap when I was a kid.I don't think it scarred me for life.I am sure I told my kids some of this stuff as well,so far neither one has climbed a water tower with a high powered rifle or become a serial killer(I hope);). Some of the replies on here just go to show you,people take shit to seriously!

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  41. We had a niece that would not stop picking her nose and eating it, so we told her that if you ate your boogies you would get boogie worms. It scared her but then she would hide and eat them, so after a long day of talking to her about this and reminding her of the worms when she got ready for her bath that night I had a earth worm in my hand and when I helped her out of her clothes I dropped the earth worm in her panties and yelled...OMG! is that a boogie worm, she totally freaked out, it was all we could do not to roll on the floor laughing. I asked her if she had ate a lot of boogies and she said yes and that she could feel the worms trying to get out her butt, she never ate another boogie again and neither has any other child in our family. Word traveled fast amongst the kids.

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